Since my deconversion from Christianity I was asked quite a few times what my spiritual beliefs are. In this article I will try to explain them.
I don’t belong to any religion because I find all of them controlled. The popular religion that I’m most familiar with is Christianity. My research led me to the conclusion that it’s totally controlled and it’s run like a business.
It was created in the Roman Empire. After the death of Jesus there were many different sects teaching totally different things about what he said. But the religion, in order to be the official state religion, had to be unified, and that’s how the Bible, the set of selected texts, was born.
I deleted most of my articles on Christianity because it attracted many Christians who spammed me with “come back to Jesus”, “Jesus loves you” or “you will go to hell” comments. But I couldn’t allow myself delete the articles and videos that I put a lot of time for research, and I recommend reading them for all Christians.
Here they are:
The reason I became Christian was because when the full kundalini awakening happened to me, it left me in a state of total imbalance. I was open to the spiritual world completely, feeling every spirit and energy.
This made me realize that the greatest power in this world is that of Jehovah, the god of Jews, Muslims and Christians. It’s Saturn, the most outer planet of all the traditional seven ones, which, according to Gnostics, usurped the power of other planets, wanting to rule the world on its own, and being under the delusion that it’s the highest creator.
According to the Mandean religion (the original followers of John the Baptist), in order to escape this prison planet we have to transcend all the negative qualities that the planets give us. The last planet to overcome is Saturn, governing the last border beyond which our freedom lies. Its quality is the hardest one to transcend, as it’s about being selfless.
So yes, many things that I realized during my kundalini awakening I believe to this day. I do believe that the highest god of this world is Jehovah. It’s up to you whether you want to worship him or not, though.
I choose not to, because if you’re a Christian, for example, it could indeed be the case that after your death you will get trapped in the cube, the Jerusalem, the one represented by the Kaaba. You will be trapped there, worshiping this god forever.
I find that state-run religions are deeply occult, serving as traps. Even in the Bible it’s told to study diligently (I can’t find that quote though). If you do, you will get freed. If you choose to overlook biblical contradictions, it’s your own fault. Those who deconvert because of knowledge are at peace with themselves because they heeded the advice of the Bible to study thoroughly.
Now I no longer divorce spirituality from the material existence. The way I see this existence is that we are all parts of God experiencing itself in this material realm. Without matter the spiritual essence would not be able to know itself as many aspects. Now it’s getting to know itself in its multiplicity.
So for me, being in this world gives all the spiritual lessons there need be. Actually, I often find that people who think themselves spiritual are not developed as personalities and first need to learn the lessons that this earth teaches. Only then should they focus on purely spiritual things.
I find that people who delve deep into yoga are very often not only disconnected from this world but lost also. Many people who come to India to search for spirituality seem to be lost, but that’s okay. All of us are lost at some point, and as long as we seek there’s the proof that we’re still lost. Seeking stops when you understand why you’re here.
We are here on this earth to learn its lessons. There are so many lessons that we need to learn on this earth. Most people don’t start progressing in any major way at all. Yet this earth is the greatest school, though a very tough one.
The lessons that are needed to learn are so difficult that most people prefer the feel-good-stuff. There are many new-age teachers teaching to do what feels good. This appeals to the ease-and-pleasure-loving nature of humans.
To make spiritual progress in this world is a huge challenge. It’s about getting the old self to die, which doesn’t want to. It’s fighting your own self, the momentum that it took many lives to build. So no wonder most people prefer to lie to themselves and instead surround themselves with positivity and not to deal with any darkness in them.
I also find that darkness cannot be totally eliminated – it’s part of this reality. Without darkness light would not be able to exist. So though I don’t embrace it, I don’t reject it either. I just know that it’s supposed to be there.
I also realized one thing about myself thanks to knowing my natal chart. I tend to externalize my darkness in the people that I choose as my life partners. It was the dark side of me that I wasn’t acknowledging that was seeking acknowledgment. I understand this now.
I find that if guys are well-behaved, I find them boring and uninteresting. So I’m attracted to bad boys for this reason. And now I no longer fight that darkness in them. I accept that my partner has his dark side, and that it’s also my externalized dark side. Darkness will exist as long as we live in this world of duality.
Some people are naturally dark and they serve a purpose. Yes, we may disagree with how they act, but such people actually must exist to maintain balance in this world.
This world could only exist if half of it was darkness. And I find that people tend to not acknowledge their dark side, wanting to believe that they’re all light. Yet others, like in my case, externalize it completely and therefore are attracted to people who have a dark side.
Since I don’t have any spiritual philosophy, I’m just telling here some of the spiritual things that I believe in.
When it comes to spiritual practices, I do engage in mindfulness and sometimes meditation. I don’t do yoga, but I do light exercise each day. I eat meat as vegetarian food makes me too spiritually sensitive and mentally irritable. My health deteriorated after being vegetarian for a long time.
I find that for people living in cities, regular practices such as yoga, meditation and eating vegetarian or vegan food make people too sensitive and therefore irritable. Such practices should be engaged in a clean and peaceful environment rather than in a busy city.
I find it deeply irresponsible for yoga masters to have commercialized yoga to the degree that not even proper warnings are given. In a body full of toxins and unprepared, yoga can trigger kundalini awakening which can cripple a person physically, mentally and spiritually. Sometimes yoga teachers also transfer the awakening which causes the same result.
I’m really saddened at the state of the people who come to India for yoga practices; most mix sex, drugs and yoga thinking that they will practice till their reach total bliss. It’s most likely that they will reach some mental institution by practicing this way.
So I find that current spiritual practices that people like to engage in are very dangerous. People don’t know what they’re doing. I was protected from these things as I was practicing yoga without any mind-altering substances and in a peaceful environment in India and living a healthy life. Yet still, I almost lost my balance. So I feel very concerned about city dwellers with half the knowledge practicing this eastern form of spirituality.
I believe the safest way to spiritually progress is firstly to get your character totally clean. There’s no need to actually become a yoga teacher to become more illuminated as I find many yoga teachers just showing off their bodies and it’s all about trendy yoga and not about progress.
I think that it’s safer and saner to just start working on one’s personality. To pray for the Universe to show you what needs to change in you, what character traits need to be eliminated. Be prepared for the revelation.
There’s so much that we need to work on internally. If we do, naturally our spiritual sight will open, without any yoga poses. Once this new clarity is reached you will know what you will need to do as then you will access universal guidance.
So this is my kind of spirituality. This is the kind of practice that will not result in any mental imbalance and you will get your spiritual faculties activated when it’s time to do so, and not by forceful manipulation of energy.
I can’t count how many people wrote to me with regrets about having opened their third eye or having awakened their kundalini. It wasn’t right time for them, they forced the development of such organs or processes only to realize that they can’t handle this new state of being.
I’m very grateful that I was saved from causing irreversible spiritual, mental and physical damage to myself. I think I was saved not only because I lived a healthy life in a peaceful environment in India, but also because I tried to lead a morally clean life and also was honest with my readers about what I was going through.
I wasn’t trying to hide my realizations that what I believed about New Age or Christianity wasn’t correct. Surely, I lost many readers who stopped following me after denouncing these practices. But I gained much spiritual protection and guidance as a result, which is very important.
When you don’t lie to yourself or others, you’re at one with yourself. If you’re whole, you don’t cut yourself off from the Universe/God who can then guide you and protect you.
I find that morality and honesty are some of the greatest spiritual weapons one can have. I do believe that love can protect you greatly too, but personally I’m very far from true universal love unfortunately.
So these are some of my spiritual beliefs and practices.