The last book on kundalini that I’m going to summarize (which I’ve read whilst I was in Nepal) is called Kundalini Diary: A Journey Into Meditation by Santosh Sachdeva.

It’s a diary of an Indian woman who went through the kundalini awakening, experiencing phenomena very different to that of Gopi Krishna. She got the gift of astral projection, and this again shows that kundalini gives different gifts to different people.

The author of this book, Santosh, also drew the pictures of her visions during the awakening. The colorful illustrations of what she was going through are included in her book.

Identifying with external phenomena

In one of her diary entries, Santosh emphasizes the importance of having a guru so that one doesn’t get stuck in a foreign experience. I wrote in this article how deep meditation allowed me to transfer consciousness to animate and non-animate objects, as well as it diffusing into everything.

Such ability is one of the gifts of kundalini. Santosh was given it too, and she said that sometimes experiences of being something other than yourself are so amazing, that some people don’t want to transfer their consciousness back to their human bodies.

Gurus would take people out of such states, but if people have no guru, they are risking of never coming back into their human bodies (the human body would not die but stay in a vegetative state).

Kundalini changes the brain

When kundalini works in the body, most knowledgeable meditators don’t get alarmed. However, when it moves to work in the brain, some start questioning the process. The same happened to Santosh. When she felt kundalini moving in the brain, she started mistrusting the energy she fully relied on up until that moment.

That alarm wasn’t justified, however, because kundalini did the same work in the brain as she (it’s a feminine energy) did in the body – she simply purified clogged passageways and healed what was broken. Santosh actually was healed of several life-long ailments as a result of kundalini starting to work in her brain.

When she finally surrendered to the process, this allowed kundalini to work at her own pace and she erased old grooves and created new ones, resulting in a sort of upgrade to her brain. Her sense of smell improved, and she was also more conscious during astral travels. It gave her a better clarity of her experiences, and she was also able to hear internal sounds (meditators sometimes hear them).

She also writes that if this process is resisted, permanent damage might be caused to the brain. I don’t know if I can agree with that, because when this was happening to me, I resisted greatly since I didn’t know that it was kundalini doing the work, and nothing negative has happened.

Dealing with demonic phenomena

Santosh is the second woman I’ve come across who wasn’t frightened by the demonic phenomena during the kundalini awakening. The first one whose account I’ve heard did google search on the demons she encountered and learnt as much about them as possible.

She found out that there are different demons in the astral. Some are vampires, some are disembodied entities, some are ghosts, there are incubi and succubi, and more.

Santosh, on the other hand, didn’t research different types of demons but simply did not react to them and they eventually left her. Sometimes they actually approached her to insult her in some way, like to take her by the hair (this was an astral experience). None of this frightened her and so they left.

Both described ways of dealing with demonic phenomena were much wiser that what I did – I totally freaked out and called the whole kundalini awakening demonic. My Catholic conditioning kicked in – to be afraid of demons – and I discontinued my spiritual growth. Now I’m resuming the process, and this experience showed me how much harm Christian/Catholic conditioning can cause.

My parents weren’t even religious, though that religious background is felt everywhere in Europe and America. So though you may grow up in a non-religious setting, be sure that the unconscious of your nation makes all those beliefs your own too. Thus, when Hindu people experience demonic phenomena, they are likely to deal with it in a much more sensible way than Christians.

Those demons feed on low vibration. So as long as people are afraid of them, those entities will stick to them. That’s why so many Christians have demon problems. They either fear them, or this mental cage that Christianity is keeps them on low vibration and thus keeps the demons close to them.

Absolute standstill of the body

Once, during meditation, Santosh’s body totally froze. She was unable to move even one of her limbs. This, again, can be very frightening, but all that a meditator can do is to wait through this experience until the body can move again.

During this experience, all functions as though came to a standstill. She was unable to hear, see, breathe or even think. It is well known that meditators who get into samadhi may not even have a pulse.

A power to fight back in the astral

During yet another meditation, she came face to face with a tantric in the astral. A Tantric is a tantra adept. He tried to use black magic on her in the astral, but she found herself breaking out of that influence using only her own will, and that tantric wasn’t able to do any harm to her.

This was the first time that she used her own power to protect herself. Before that, other spiritual beings protected her from evil entities in the astral. But as she was spiritually maturing and becoming stronger, she started relying more and more on her own power to defend herself.

This reminds me of the movie Matrix, where Neo finally learns to protect himself and realizes the immense power that he has. I believe that Christians would suffer from much fewer demonic attacks if they would understand the power that they hold and fearlessly use it against those entities.

Prevent the loss of consciousness

It was the advice of her guru, due to the numbness in the brain that Santosh experienced, to set fixed time before each meditation. This is to prevent the phenomenon of staying in meditation for hours without knowing it.

Some people think this to be a great achievement, but I don’t think so. I’ve experienced it myself, and I know, due to my own experience and that of others, that this loss of the awareness of time doesn’t give any growth or spiritual benefits. You simply lose awareness, like you do in sleep, so this is nothing remarkable.

To prevent the loss of consciousness, one should ideally meditate at the same time each day and to have a determined time in mind of when to stop meditating. The subconscious mind will quickly get used to the fixed time and will take you out of meditation at the end of the session. This is one of the interesting qualities of your subconscious – it works like a clock!

Vanishing mirror image

Once, when Santosh looked in a mirror, she saw her reflection disappear. Later one of her friends mentioned that the same thing happened to her, and that it totally frightened her.

Santosh, however, wasn’t frightened by this strange experience at all. Like any other kundalini phenomena, she faced it with complete detachment.

Thus, this again shows that our reactions are determined by our conditioning. Santosh did not have negative conditioning with regards to such phenomena. Being born in a spiritual family, she did not receive fear-based teachings about negatively reacting against such experiences. Yet most of us aren’t that lucky, and we grow up in families that didn’t even try to shake off the beliefs of the masses.

Most of us grow up among people imprisoned in mental cages, and we end up in the same cage ourselves. However, even in adulthood one can shake off all the conditioned responses – awareness and willingness to break with the tradition is required in order to do so.

Kundalini awakening absolutely requires the destruction of beliefs that weren’t even questioned before. It challenges our understanding of reality, and those who aren’t willing to adjust and destroy hindering beliefs are unfortunately crushed in the process. Because of the strong spiritual cage of Christianity, Western mental institutions are full of people who were broken by the process of spiritual growth.

Also, according to the editor of this book, in the West the disappearing image in the mirror is a quality of the vampire. In India, however, the interpretation is very different. If one experiences such a phenomenon, it means that he or she achieved at least a temporary dissolution of the ego, which is “the chief culprit of convincing us of our separateness from the rest of the universe”.

The fact that Santosh’s Indian friend got frightened when she didn’t see her reflection in the mirror only shows that Indians are forgetting the symbolic language of their country and tend to subscribe to the beliefs of the West. This usually tends to disempower rather than empower, since Western beliefs have Christian background and thus are very much fear-based.

Seeing the cleansing of nerves

Santosh witnessed how kundalini cleanses her body. She saw the force to effortlessly remove thick black liquid from one of her nerves. When this cleansing is taking place, people start shaking, they get jerks, hands may start doing unknown mudras and spine may start moving back and forth.

Attacks from the astral

Santosh witnessed beings throwing objects at her when she would enter the astral realm. Once she saw a dwarf throwing a ball at her. I personally witnessed an old man throwing two golden snakes at me.

This is a very usual experience during meditation. Astral realm has many inhabitants. Those inhabitants feel threatened when beings of other dimensions pop up in their dimension. Thus, they try to defend their space.

However, those who frequently astrally travel tend to either eventually make friends with those inhabitants or those inhabitants start ignoring rather than fighting them (because of the frequency of their visits).

Whenever astral attacks happen, it’s important not to get frightened by such beings or their attacks, as this may result in mental instability, according to Santosh.

The editor of this book also says that sometimes astral beings throw things at humans who astrally travel because they are jealous of their breakthroughs and seek to tempt them.

Meeting a clown in the astral

Sometimes meditators may meet a clown in the astral and may think him to be a sort of helper in the realm. The clown may even bow to them, as though to say “At your service”.

However, this being is to be avoided because he can only bring trouble to the meditator. The editor of this book compares this character with the tarot “fool” card whose original name is “death”. It begins by beguiling, and soon entraps one into doing things one shouldn’t.

Important astral travel advice

Her guru told that as the meditator advances, eventually his astral body will be able to disengage from the physical one to astrally travel. When this happens, it’s important to set the time limit for astral travels and stick to it. The subconscious will come to respect this time and will adhere to it.

How to dissolve negative thoughts

Thoughts are powerful things. When we think a negative thought and suppress it into our subconscious, it gets saved as an ugly shape. Sometimes during meditation those shapes come up in visions, and if a person is from a Christian background, he will straight away assume it to be an external demon.

That’s not the case, however. Those are our own created demons that can dissolve if we don’t negatively react to those shapes but accept that they are in us. When we non-judgmentally observe them, the shape dissolves, thus freeing the energy to do healing work or to benefit our bodies and minds in any other way.

However, the shape can only dissolve if we don’t negatively react to it, fear it, or pretend it’s not there.

It’s a new-age lie not to acknowledge anything that’s negative. If you have a room full of waste, it won’t get cleaned if you ignore that the room is there. In fact, the situation will get worse and worse the longer the waste is left uncleaned.

The same applies to the toxic content in our minds. Meditation and being present allows that toxic waste to start being dissolved, but it can only do so if we acknowledge it’s there and allow this process to take place as a result of our awareness.

Santosh says that if those toxic thoughts are not dissolved, they may cause tumors, other physical diseases or mental sickness.

When we live consciously, our awareness prevents the suppression of evil thoughts which produce evil results. Because our subconscious has no discriminative power and accepts everything, we must be careful what gets stored there.

It’s the content of the subconscious that determines the quality of our life. Thus, it must be kept in good condition.


I enjoyed reading Kundalini Diary: A Journey Into Meditation by Santosh Sachdeva as it describes the possible phenomena that one may need to go through during the kundalini awakening. I also liked the attitude of the author – to stay detached no matter what experience one is faced with.

I believe this book will benefit those who want to be prepared for kundalini awakening. Whilst Gopi Krishna’s book is a great read about the body changes that might take place during the awakening, this book is a great source of information when it comes to astral experiences, visions and other mental phenomena.