I’ve been in a relationship since December last year, and it has its ups and downs, but in general the matters look very good. We both try to make this relationship work and have made sacrifices for this to happen.
We are from different cultures (he is from India, I am from Lithuania), so we have to make more effort to adjust to one another than a couple from the same background would. But because we love each other, we always talk if some issue arises so that it’s resolved in a way that pleases us both.
I’m learning to adjust my life to that of another, and he is doing the same. We are both stubborn, so it’s sometimes difficult, but love wins. And I appreciate this quality of character in us both anyway, because it protects us from being swayed by external influences.
We both care for each other, and I never allow myself to forget this tenderness between us, so that it’s maintained. Knowing how rare it is, I never take it for granted. This tenderness in most relationships lasts only a while, and then people get comfortable with one another, stop trying to be nice to each other, start taking each other for granted, and all the finer feelings between them are then gone (if they were there in the first place, that is).
When tenderness dies, it’s very difficult to rekindle it, so it’s best not to lose it at all. If tenderness is not allowed to die out, finer emotions will keep being exchanged between one another, giving to both more vitality. But if they die out and discord sets in, both persons greatly suffer because they merged their electromagnetic fields and therefore are affected by the discordant thoughts of each other.
Outsiders cannot affect us that much because our energy fields are separate from them; however, when it comes to someone very close to us, it’s very important that they only think good thoughts about us, because this nourishes both us and them.
I’m also learning the value of investment in a relationship. Investment is required for any area of life to produce good fruit. Plants only grow when the soil is watered, and the areas of our life can only yield good results if we invest in them.
I’m happy with the way that my body looks, but to maintain it in a good shape I need to exercise every day. In order to support myself I need to keep writing articles and creating videos. And maintaining a happy relationship is not an exception – one must invest his time and effort to make it work or to maintain its existent harmony.
I’m also learning that if you keep love in mind, you end up taking best actions towards your relationship. For example, it’s very easy to tell a person to change in some way to suit you better, but it’s much more difficult to tolerate that which is different for the sake of maintaining love and peace. We both change our behavior if it’s very disagreeable to each other, but we tolerate most of our differences.
And I find that it’s best to keep most differences anyway, because if you live with a copy of you, what growth can you experience from that? We also are attracted to each other due to those differences; polar opposites always attract.
In fact, the best thing to do is to envision what it would be like if the person you are with no longer has those differences. You may be surprised to discover that you would not be attracted to him anymore. So I find that many couples argue for the very differences that keep them together.
We feel whole together, because we supply to each other the qualities that we lack. We have merged our lives and souls together, and “coincidences” continue happening like it was from the beginning of our relationship.
For example, after two days of not texting to each other (as we are together now), at one time, when I was in a restaurant (and he – at work) I felt a wave of love, I saw his picture in my mind, and decided to text him. Before I wrote a message to him, I received his message! So after two days of no texting, we both thought of texting to each other at that very same minute.
I cannot describe the sense of contentment when you find your other half. Interestingly, I keep thinking about a Bible verse which said that Jesus will be in your heart if you accept him. We both feel like we are in each other’s heart.
We never feel like we are apart. We can be in separate countries, yet all the time we are not separate from each other. He lives in me, and I live in him. I’m sometimes wondering, were we to stay with each other all our lives, when one of us dies first, would the remaining still feel another in one’s heart.
I believe that I had to go through many lessons and to also practice celibacy to deserve a relationship like that. He also did not waste himself. Actually, he was so disappointed in women due to a disastrous long-term relationship that he had in the past that he thought that after the breakup he would remain single all his life. So we both were free of any bonds with other persons, and that’s why our lives and souls merged so easily.
It was not a physical desire that made us attracted to each other, but it was something that’s hard to define. He told me at the beginning of the relationship that he knew how sexual attraction felt like, but what he felt for me was something completely different. I knew exactly what he meant, because I felt the same way about him.
Both of us could have had other relationships would we want them, but we intuitively said no. Women are attracted to him, and men are attracted to me. We are both glad that it’s more than appearance or sexual attraction that holds us together, but something much more lasting, something spiritual.
Finally, we hope to merge our lives together completely, but we will take time, we will not rush things, and also it will take a lot of effort from his side to make me, as a foreigner, acceptable to his traditional Hindu family.
But I hope all will be well. And even if it isn’t, I’m very grateful to God for bringing him into my life and for making me experience wholeness on a physical plane, and a tender love of a very special person.