It is very usual for me to experience some sort of new development, and then to read a book explaining what that was.
That’s a common happening with natural initiations as opposed to the spiritual initiations taking place in physical schools. You have the experience, but you don’t have the theory that explains it, though when you come across the explanation, you know it to apply to you.
Thus, I’ve noticed for a long time that my memory as though vanishes. I just cannot look back. It would take too much effort to dig out past memories, because the vibration would have to slow down too much. Thus, I find it much easier and pleasant to live in the now.
It’s difficult to describe what that feels like. Jesus said “let the dead bury their dead”. He also discouraged people from looking back once they join him. In the Old Testament we find Lot’s wife turning to the pillar of salt because she disobeyed the angel and looked back at her burning city.
I love all these stories because they teach about the futility of focusing on the past. Past is past, it’s gone, and one should move on. Another good symbolism is being upset over spoilt milk – what a useless thing to do, because the deed is done and you cannot reverse it.
When you spiritually progress, it becomes easier and easier not to look back, until you reach a stage where such a thing is just not engaged in. It’s even painful for me to go through my month-old drafts to publish an article out of them, so what I’ve gotten into the habit of writing the article and publishing it the same day.
As I’ve mentioned in the beginning of this post, it’s very usual for naturally initiated people to go through some experience and then to read what that means in an esoteric book. Recently I was reading How to Know Higher Worlds by Rudolf Steiner, and it perfectly described and explained the stage I am going through, which is memory dissolving.
He teaches in the book that at one stage of spiritual progress a gift of non-remembrance is given, and it is given so that you see things as they are.
I could not agree more. Most people feel safe to have past experiences to rely on, and that’s the only way that they judge the present. But once you reach a certain stage, that support is taken away so that you see things as they really are.
Judging the present from the past reference point might seem like a sane thing to do, but it’s not quite so. That’s because your past experiences are limited, memories get distorted, and to judge the present from such a shaky ground is completely unreliable.
Yes, if you had all the experiences in the world, your judgement would indeed be right. But we all have very limited experiences. Thus, for example, if we met only one person from New Zealand, and use this as reference point to judge the people from New Zealand that we will meet in the future, it should show you how unreliable such basis of judgement is.
Therefore, to help you to see things as they are, Nature itself removes this barrier as you spiritually progress. You find yourself living in the present moment more and more, and eventually no ghost of the past haunts you.
This allows you to judge everything you meet in the present moment in the most sane way – by looking at it without any beliefs or prejudices and allowing a response to form from this pure awareness.