This is from a recent newsletter that I sent for those who were my readers and viewers long, long time ago.
Since my sudden traumatic awakening was so abrupt, and then you heard nothing from me (as I was shadow-banned by YouTube), I feel as though this chapter cannot truly close until I explain exactly what took place.
So here it goes.
As many of you were very invested in my teachings, I was equally invested in my journey. For about nine years, up to the age of 30 when the traumatic experience happened, I pretty much thought and focused on nothing else. Especially in the months leading up to my crown chakra opening.
You might remember that at the time, I was renting a house in a semi-jungle area in South India. I was leading a totally minimalist life - I even slept on the floor because I had no bed - and all I did was meditate, do yoga, and read spiritual texts. I was also vegetarian and celibate. My investment in the path of awakening was 100%.
And, at the age of 30, I achieved what I wanted - what was supposed to be enlightenment, a merging with God - as my crown chakra opened.
Unfortunately, it didn’t lead to enlightenment. Instead, it opened me up to a greater range of sight, the kind that psychics naturally have. A crown chakra opening also results in being able to leave your body much more easily. But this opening leaves you unprotected - it is much safer to travel to the astral realms naturally, when you fall asleep.
Once I realized that all this opening did was leave me unprotected from spiritual attacks, without leading to any real transcendence, I felt betrayed and deeply hurt. Instead of staying calm and remaining silent, I broadcasted what happened to me far and wide. Because my warnings were so fearful, many of you tuned out.
Converting to institutionalized Christianity, which I had stood against before, was the final nail in the coffin. At that time, some readers even thought I had lost the plot. But the reason I grabbed onto this religion was because I felt so out of balance and lost after the crown chakra opening. I attached myself to something that was familiar - almost genetic - and had a solid structure.
I deconverted around 6 months in. During that time, I researched the religion thoroughly and could no longer deny that it had been changed multiple times, and used as a tool of control rather than a path to God.
Around that same time, I started being shadow-banned on YouTube, so my viewers stopped getting updates from me. I’m still under this ban - I think you cannot really escape it - so though I post on YouTube sometimes, and even have a new channel, it’s not very effective in making my message known.
However, a small part of my viewers stuck with me through thick and thin, supporting me on the twists and turns of my spiritual journey, for which I’m extremely grateful.
Fortunately, that traumatic experience didn’t stop my spiritual growth - if you truly, with your whole heart, seek the light, you are bound to find it. A Course in Miracles started reaching me in the years following that traumatic shift.
Whenever I read it, it felt like an echo of what I knew a long, long time ago and had disassociated from. I could no longer treat it like just any other spiritual book or path - there was this deep knowing and relief that this was the path for me.
To truly exit duality (along with the astral and causal realms), yoga, vegetarianism or celibacy are not enough—because they focus on the effects of a split mind: the dual world and the physical body.
Even meditation (and I do practice it), if only done on its own, would take lifetimes to free you until you really get what’s going on. This is exactly why people spend decades sitting in monasteries, yet the vast majority still do not achieve enlightenment. In standard meditation, you often just sit in silence, temporarily putting away what needs to be actively dissolved. It feels good while you’re doing it, and there is some internal clearance taking place, but so little, that you drop right back into the same reality you started with.
All paths where God is the end goal eventually lead to the end goal, but some paths are very, very long. A Course in Miracles, however, is a quick path, which dissolves the split mind at its root through love and forgiveness.
The result is a completely healed, undivided mind which can no longer see a dual world but instead abides in the Kingdom of Heaven - a permanent state of Christ Consciousness.
Staying on this path has led to amazing, miraculous occurrences where reality shifts right before your eyes. For example, people shift instantly the moment you address them through total presence and love. I have even had people say to me, “I love you” - which was a total shift from how the conversation started. Addressing this world through love melts that which is not of love. This is the original teaching of Jesus, which has been so heavily distorted throughout the ages by fearful and controlling minds.
And now, looking back at the crown chakra opening trauma that I experienced, I see it in a very different way. Nothing actually happened. It all took place within the physical and astral realms, which are not real anyway. This is all a mental projection - multiple plays throughout incarnations where we fully identify with the characters of the play, while the Spirit remains entirely untouched.
So this is the path I’m on, and this is what I teach to my Sacred Space group members. If you resonate with this, I’m so glad - and there must be a reason this message is reaching you now. Maybe you, too, realize that this world has nothing really to offer - that everything in this physical universe decays and turns to dust, and that there’s something beyond it calling you: our true home in God.
I feel so much lighter having had the chance to explain all this to you. It feels like a finished chapter now.