I pondered almost every day on what happened to me over a year ago – when my crown chakra opened and I felt a cool liquid engulfing my brain. This experience changed me as a person, and the transformation process hasn’t yet stopped.

What happened to me is considered to be awakening in esoteric terms. It happens when the kundalini energy goes up the spine and “lights up” the brain. This synchronizes both hemispheres and awakens inactive parts of the brain.

That awakening was frightening because it temporarily rent a veil between the physical and the spiritual. I realized I was full of demons and I was opened to the spirit realm without knowing how to get out of that dimension. The opening of my crown chakra made me feel various energies entering and leaving me, and it felt like I was losing my personality.

Only recently I decided to no longer block all the eastern mystical information and started reading about these experiences and whether my interpretation of what happened to me over a year ago was right or wrong. And what I experienced is fully documented in esoteric teachings but the interpretations of those events are different from my own.

For example, according to esoteric teachings, when this awakening happens, you do realize you have demons for two reasons. It’s not that the practice of preparation for the awakening attracted demons, but that you had demons already in you because of your past evil behavior. Before the awakening you were ignorant of their presence, but after it you know it as your spiritual perception is heightened.

Another reason demons flock to the newly-illuminated person is because his or her vibration is really high and he or she is seen in the spirit realm as a bright and awakened being. Demons straight away see this bright figure because it’s very unusual (the astral plane is dark as most humans are asleep); they also feel threatened by this energy and therefore they flock to torment that person. Some demon-possession cases can happen during this period as well, if a person doesn’t know how to protect herself.

Demons try to frighten the person so that he stops his awakening at that point. Most of the time the strategy is successful – people get frightened when this happens and they stop their spiritual journey. But a few go through it and become fully-illuminated beings.

I failed that test (though I can take it again when I’m ready). I was not prepared for that at all. I believed in false new-age teachings that this awakening is all beautiful and positive. It’s nothing of the sort.

This awakening will show you the truth, and at first you will have to go through a hellish experience to reach the other end. This is the true purgatory, but it happens before death for those who want to be born-again in this existence.

When this experience started happening to me, my Christian (Catholic) upbringing kicked in and I assumed that I was deceived. But now I see that it was a reaction out of fear, and that it was my personal interpretation based on the knowledge that I currently had.

I demonized this process of awakening because it was a scary experience. I did not understand that it was just a step towards the full awakening. A person cannot become fully awakened unless he’s willing to face demons within and without. Going through this experience is like going through the purification fire – it’s not pleasant but required.

These days I was watching videos about the kundalini awakening experiences of people who had nothing to do with Christianity. Although their experiences were frightening as well, with time they healed and started experiencing the benefits of this awakening (like I do now).

It seems that the more impurities the person has, the worst experience she has to go through; and if a person forces this awakening whilst on drugs or leading a completely immoral life, the experience will be so hellish that he might never recover or see the purpose of that experience.

In the past I believed that if your crown chakra gets opened, you cannot close it unless God himself decides to heal you after begging Him to do so, or if you give your life to Jesus – that there’s no other way for it to close.

I was wrong. People who did not become Christian after this experience but continued with the process, eventually got healed. That being said, there are many who cannot handle this awakening and commit suicide or become mentally imbalanced.

This happens because they try to force-open their energy centers (chakras) when they are full of mental and physical impurities and lead immoral lives – thus they are totally unprepared for this awakening and do it for all the wrong reasons (they don’t do it to know God but to gain powers, etc.).

The most important thing to do for the crown chakra to close and for the life to normalize after this experience as fast as possible is to lead a moral life and totally ground yourself by spending much time outside, eating heavy food, doing physical work and reverting to a worldly way of life until you are ready to continue this awakening process (for me it took over a year to get ready for the next stage, and only now the desire is arising to do so).

The time of healing depends on the amount of mental and physical impurities, since that force (fire) that causes awakening burns all impurities eventually. When the work is done, the crown chakra will close.

When the cleansing process is being done, it’s important to protect yourself from demons by asking God to protect you, expelling them yourself (demons have no right to inhabit your body if you repent of your sins and lead a moral life), frequently baptizing yourself (fully immersing yourself in water or having a shower), and wearing white clothes is also told to be a good repellent from demons.

Based on a better knowledge through reading kundalini awakening testimonials and books on this force of the universe, I no longer think this force to be demonic. According to the research quoted in Satyananda Saraswati’s book on Kundalini Yoga, even animals have that force. It’s nothing demonic as all beings have it – it’s just sleeping in those who did not start the path of self-realization.

When the person is ready and willing to spiritually awaken, this force starts rising up the spine, burning all the impurities it meets in the spinal cord on its way to the crown chakra. This is a very different thing to how demons work; they usually enter through the openings in the head (eyes, nose, mouth) and if they possess a person, the person changes and acts like another personality.

Nothing of that sort happens when this universal energy starts rising up. It doesn’t possess a person but simply rises up burning energetic blockages it finds on its way. This sometimes causes swings and movements in order to unblock some nerve pathway, but those movements are not the same as the behavior of a demon-possessed person. Also, the person is in full possession of his consciousness when this purification process is happening. Sometimes there are no movements at all, but only heat is felt.

Since it’s the purification process, it’s not always pleasant. You may feel headaches and other discomforts. But that has nothing to do with demon-possession.

So I have to conclude that my interpretation of this phenomenon was wrong. Kundalini is neither dangerous nor demonic, but is a good purification force, which, when its main purification job is done, opens the crown (lifts the veil) for you to know the truth.

This can be frightening if one is not prepared; the truth could be that you are full of demons, or that your most cherished beliefs are completely false. This is, of course, unpleasant.

After the veil is lifted, major purification process starts. It can last days or even years – depending on how many blockages there are to burn. When the job is done, it descends back into the root chakra and may then again rise to make its home into the heart chakra to permanently stay there, as some hermetic teachings claim.

After more than a year of this experience, I can say for certain that benefits are definite. Once the hellish purification process if finished, you can notice what’s been accomplished. You become a person who is emotionally stable and rarely taken out of balance. That’s because after this experience both brain hemispheres are synchronized.

The mood is uplifted, and worldly problems no longer have a strong hold on the mind. You feel protected and loved. You feel connection to God. You don’t have strong attachments to anything, including your beliefs. Your learning ability and understanding greatly increases, because that anointing activates the parts of the brain that were never active before so the capacity to learn and understand increases.

I feel that I need to apologize for demonizing this transformation process. I should have read much more deeply about it rather than believing in false new-age claims about this process. It’s the most incredible experience a human being can go through, and it marks a major victory in the process of full awakening.

It’s something that’s unavoidable, and yes, some people won’t be able to handle it. That’s why thorough preparation is required for those who want to be spiritually born-again. New-age materials cannot prepare you for it as they give you false knowledge about this process.

If you lead a moral life and purify your mind and body; if you already live in harmony with the laws of God and are mentally strong and stable, you should be able to successfully go through this process. But no matter how much you prepare, it’s an event that cannot be compared with anything you’ve experienced before, and it will leave you changed forever.