Setting a Limit on Happiness and How to Avoid this

Setting a limit to happinessI have a friend who limits how happy she can get.

It’s like there’s an invisible, very strong, barrier preventing her from experiencing more joy.

I was surrounded by joyous people for a long time, so her friendship is teaching me a lot.

I, for example, can experience unlimited joy. It just goes up and up, and there’s so much expansion felt.

However, when I’m with her and when she notices that there’s more joy than she’s used to, she says something to stop it.

For example, me and my boyfriend took her on a scooter to see a beautiful place she’s never been to. I felt so happy to see it again, and me and my boyfriend were talking about how wonderful that place was. She, however, made a remark that in ten years this place would be infested with tourists and guesthouses. The whole vibration of unlimited joy went way down.

I like her very much but I limit my exposure to her because I know that the longer I stay with her, the more alike our vibrations would become.

She’s not yet ready to transcend the limit she places on happiness. I tried to make her aware of that limit through subtle questions and remarks, yet she was very definite about the way she saw the world and that her way of seeing the world was correct. When I meet such resistance, I know that the person is not ready to change and thus I back off.

She blames her negative and limiting parents for her inability to achieve what she wants in life, yet she fails to notice that she herself is a tiny reflection of the attitudes of her parents. Firstly she needs to work on herself, otherwise she would keep being attracted back to her parents (or to the people like her parents) and thus her vibration would never change.

If she would only decide to stay away from her parents and really work on herself to become more positive and open, soon she wouldn’t feel the need to see her parents as often as she does now. This would keep her away from her parents long enough to strengthen her will and raise her vibration.

When she would go back to her parents in such a state, she wouldn’t  be affected that much by them and she would likely not want to stay with them as often as she does now (because their vibrations would be too different).

She has this very strong judgment of everything and she’s unable to look beyond it, because she thinks that she’s always right. That’s a very big trap which is responsible for keeping many people on the same, unchanging, vibration (which translates into being stuck in life).

If she could only realize that her knowledge is very much limited (most people’s knowledge is), she might be able to disregard her mental chatter which says that something is horrible or something is amazing.

She, then, would be able to see through the duality, and remain untainted by what’s happening in the world. It’s such a freedom to be able to see both good and bad and remain unaffected by neither.

Yet she keeps hating some people and making others seem divine (however she hates many more people than she likes). This is really hard on her body and mind, and it’s such a waste of energy to do this. Such extreme judgment colors the world in unreal colors and prevents one to see beyond the limited human intelligence.

If she could forgive the hurts she so tightly clings on, her vibration would instantly rise, opening her up to more opportunities and situations she never thought she could experience.

If she could only be grateful for what she has, she would lighten up her vibration and relax into life.

If she could attempt to practice non attachment, she would be able to rise above her limited dual view of the world.

I hope that she, with time, will become aware of her strong beliefs which set a limit to her happiness and make her stuck in unpleasant circumstances. Now her perception is covered with an ugly web of wrong beliefs and past hurts which totally distort the look of the world.

She doesn’t know of the existence of such a web. Many people have it and yet are not ready to see it, though.

If it’s removed, the vibration quickly shoots up, the world seems more pleasant, lighter and joyful.

Conclusion

In this post I described a person from my life to illustrate how people can limit their joy.

I used “joy” and “non-duality” in the same post, so I should explain why I did so.

Joy, if felt without any clinging, won’t produce karma. That’s the only way to experience something without consequences. You can read more about non-duality here and here.

I hope this post showed you some traits you were not aware of that were stopping you from raising your vibration, or helped you in other ways.

If you have anything to say, please comment below.

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Simona Rich (443 Posts)

I live in tropical South India, ride scooter, meditate, do yoga and help people create fulfilling and unique lives. Read my story to find out how I changed my life.

Comments

  1. Prasanna Maiya says:

    Very insightful. Thanks for the article !!

  2. I think most of the time it’s defensiveness. Certainly in England where we have a pretty dry and sarcastic sense of humour and don’t want to be seen to be too enthusiastic (I don’t speak for myself here), there’s a tendency to see the glass half empty. But also as well, too many of us cling to our limiting values and beliefs as if they make up who we are.

  3. It is pretty true to distinguish between good and bad. How can we forgive one who is throwing garbage in front of your home or causing you hardship by certain other methods.