It’s funny that today my friend mentioned something I thought a lot during past days.
It’s about becoming mature for more success.
When I lived in London three years ago, I started to attend public speaking clubs, and my engagement and income grew.
I started getting more coaching clients, and overall, interest in me heightened.
Instead of being okay with it, I felt frightened about this quick change, and retreated as a response. I refused to give interviews, stopped successful workshops, and stopped improving my public speaking skills.
I wasn’t mature enough to handle more success, and I kind of knew that at the back of my mind.
Now, after three years of taking it easy in India and staying low profile, I feel I grew enough to handle more success. I no longer feel frightened when I think about regular workshops or public speaking engagements. In fact, this thought makes me excited.
There are nerves, of course, but I no longer feel frightened about it. I’m still not sure if I’m absolutely ready to always continue with more engagement (workshops, public speaking, coaching), but at the moment this seems fine to me.
Self-esteem and success
My self-esteem increased during this time in India, and now I can be much more authentic with people, yet not always. Speaking in front of groups still makes me nervous and disconnects me from my authentic self, so does speaking to my readers face-to-face.
I guess that’s because I believe they have certain expectations of me, and instead of being my authentic self, I’m still inclined to present a facade that I think they would like to see. It’s very annoying when I do that, and I’m working on it; I hope public speaking workshops will help me remove this incongruence.
The more your self-esteem grows, the easier it is to accept success. Sometimes, however, self-esteem is based on false values, and thus, success achieved through it doesn’t bring happiness, because the artificial base is always felt.
If your self esteem grows organically, it feels like a beautiful warm expansion of Self. Such expansion comes as a result of constant self-improvement, and you blossom like a flower – success comes easily, and it makes you feel content and joyful.
The time factor
Sometimes all you need to mature to success is time. When success comes too fast, it’s very easy to retreat, and sometimes retreat is a good thing. That’s because success can not only make a person, but can break also. You probably witnessed many young celebrities who are ruined – they go into drugs or do self-harm – because they’re just not mature enough to handle success.
Sometimes this maturity comes with age, but it’s quickened by personal development. At the age of 24, when I just started learning public speaking, I was too young to open up to all that the world had to offer. Different people will feel mature for more success at different ages. Some can handle it at the age of 20, some feel ready at 50 or later.
Power and responsibility
The more aspects of your life you become fully in charge of, the more your power increases, and thus the easier it is to achieve success.
That means you should be fully responsible for your body – you should eat healthy food, and get enough exercise. You should be totally responsible for your relationships and make proper decisions about their direction. It means becoming responsible for your inner development, and your career.
The more aspects of your life you’re fully responsible for, the quicker life entrusts you with more goodness.
The ego issue
What I’ve noticed is that people who are not mature enough for success, have too much ego. I was the same too, of course. My thoughts circled about Me, and not about benefiting Others.
I would think, for example, how I was perceived by others (and this thought would make me feel uneasy), instead of thinking how I could improve to the extent that the information I had would come clearly through, and improve the lives of others.
Now I’m at the stage of developing my verbal skills, so that I would be able to clearly express myself, for the benefit of others. I wish I would be a perfect channel (I don’t mean it in a psychic sense) for the inner knowledge to come through.
When the focus shifts from What About Me to What About Others, success comes more easily. There are no real obstacles in the way, because you remove the biggest one of all – your ego.
I’m not saying I transcended my ego fully – that’s not possible in this world unless you lose your mind; however, I’ve noticed that instead of thinking about how I am perceived by others, I think instead along these lines:
Am I a barrier for the information I have, or is my appearance/behavior helping to get the information I have across?
It’s a huge shift, and it raises vibration to a great extent.
Are you ready for success?
Ask yourself – would you really be ready to handle more success?
Think about living your ideal life, and pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel uneasy, or totally relaxed, at peace and joyful? Do you feel nervous, anxious, doubtful, or full of optimism?
These states will show you whether you matured enough for success, or not.
Maturity also means understanding that sacrifices will need to be made for more success. That may mean taking time to study your subject deeper, investing money into your education or a new venture, or cutting some bonds with people.
It may mean taking on bigger responsibilities, which you would never do if you weren’t mature enough. It may mean taking your work much more seriously, and with more respect.
The more mature you become, the more you’re willing to take the responsibilities that success brings along. When you really say inside “Okay, now I know I’m ready, and I’m very much waiting for success to come, with all the responsibilities that come with it”, then life gives you more success.
If you’re not yet ready for success (it frightens you or makes you uncomfortable to think that you’re extremely successful, or you feel uneasy around successful people), then don’t despair. Retreat, and work on yourself.
Improve your character, deepen knowledge of your subject, improve your understanding of others – do whatever you feel you need to do for more growth to take place.
When the time becomes ripe, you will know it, and you will no longer be an obstacle to your success.