A Doer of Good Never Walks a Path of Misery

GitaIn Gita, an ancient Indian text, it’s written that a doer of good never walks a path of misery.

I found this to be true.

Sometimes I meet people who seem lovely, yet they suffer in life.

It’s easy to conclude that life is unfair on them, yet staying with such people for a while will make you see the reasons why they suffer.

Usually such good people suffer because they can’t see beyond the duality, and thus fight what they perceive to be bad. Many foreigners in India, for example, fight against the mistreatment of Indian women or child labor. Some are very emotional about subjects such as ocean pollution or the caste system.

Such fighting against things wears people out and it doesn’t change much, because we live in the world of duality, where bad can’t be without good and vice versa. So even though someone would succeed in eliminating some wrong-doing, another must arise – it’s the law of duality.

Also, even though something good would replace something bad, it would still have a bad side, like bad would have a good side.

It’s easy to conclude that Indian men who abuse Indian women are bad, for example. However, Indian women allow men to be this way. They must learn their lessons of standing up for themselves and finding the strength within; they’re suffering because they refuse to learn their lessons. Thus those that seem to be good, yet suffer in life, do so because they deserve it, however cruel this may sound.

I remember one day visiting my dance teacher’s best friend from France. The French lady had been married to an Indian man for six years. I came to visit her together with my friend from Switzerland and there was one more Indian lady in the French woman’s apartment.

The conversation turned to Indian men. The French lady addressed two Indian women sitting next to her – my dance teacher and the other one. She asked when would they stand up and be strong (referring to the abuse from Indian men). An Indian lady next to my dance teacher sheepishly smiled and said “Maybe someday”.

This attitude clearly illustrates that they aren’t ready to change. They’re not ready to drop the role of a victim and become strong. There’s nothing anyone else can do to change such a situation – the change should come from inside.

Some people think of themselves as very good because they fight against a perceived dark side, and because of that they suffer a lot. Like a friend of mine, who is angry at almost every person because they fail to live up to her expectations.

She doesn’t understand that this is her personal understanding of life and that other people don’t have the same understanding. Such an inability to view the situation in different ways makes one stuck and miserable.

A friend of mine perceives herself as being very good and intelligent, and thus tries to advise others and make them live their lives according to her life model. When some people don’t listen to her, she gets upset and angry. In her head she’s really right and good, however that’s not how she is perceived by others.

The very fact that one is miserable should clearly show that there’s something that’s not right in them, even though their intelligence says they’re very good.

Conclusion

It’s so important to reflect on our actions and behavior. If we fail to do so, we may not notice that we have a very limited understanding of things or that we willingly play the role we suffer for.

If we fail to reflect on our actions and don’t monitor our thoughts, it’s easy to conclude that the world is unfair on us. However, when we understand that there’s no unfairness and that there’s always a reason for our suffering found inside, the world can become a happy place again.

If you have anything to say, leave a comment below.

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Simona Rich (444 Posts)

I live in tropical South India, ride scooter, meditate, do yoga and help people create fulfilling and unique lives. Read my story to find out how I changed my life.

Comments

  1. Abhijit Sinha says:

    I am very new in this blog. It is amazing to see the power of observation in you, Simona.
    I find it is all about taking responsibility of the choices we have taken in life. Center stage of my life It is only I who is responsible for the experience in this life. All are my choices only.

    Thanks & Regards.

  2. Amr ElGarhy says:

    Totally agree Simona, peace and happiness should come from inside. Though it is difficult to have but not impossible…..I really like such posts, thanks

  3. Christian M Raymonds says:

    Hi!
    Great article indeed. I am a software developer by profession and by sheer chance I work with one of the greatest living scientists on non-duality in the world. I have been part of his research for about a year. This research is based on providing a scientific perspective to enlightment. During the course of this research work, I have interviewed a lot of people in various stages of enlightment or at least claiming to have attained some form of Nirvana. The person I work with, refers to enlightment as PNSE or Personal Non Symbolic Experience.
    It is during this research I learnt to appreciate the concept of duality and also non-duality. What your article does is, it portrays a hue of non-acceptance, thus you infer that acceptance might mitigate stress and unhappiness. While, it is definitely upto one’s POV, yet, I have just one question… the probability of us staying in an orderly universe is lot lesser than us being present in a chaotic universe. Then why do we perceive all the order around us? Could we possibly be Boltzmann babies floating in a chaotic soup? Could all this just be an extension of our imagination? And yes, if it is, then why not find that truth inside us.. couldn’t that be a complete state of non-duality? If you achieve that, could there be possibly anything more?
    As Gita says, “As the blazing fire reduces wood to ashes, similarly, the fire of Self-knowledge reduces all Karma to ashes.”
    Thanks and Regards,
    Christian

  4. I agree with that, but law of duality acts when we tag things as good or bad, but there is an eternal neutral part of everything which is unaffected by the universal laws and we must be aware of it for freeing our self from these mind made forms…if I am not wrong Simona :)..great post!

  5. Simona,
    Simple & practical topic, good writing giving examples as well as recommendations, thanks a lot. Since i am dealing with Indian people in my day to day duties, this gives me ideas, what to do & not to do.
    thanks a lot.

  6. One of your best article since I started reading this blog (1 month ago).
    I agree and I think to understand what you’re trying to explain.
    And there are so many circumnstances, belief systems, visions of life…that to me the only way to find peace is to live and let live. She have to share and spead what we believe in, but at the end of the day, everyone has its own specific right to choose, understand and live life the way they want it to be. We can give advices and lovely suggest what should be best in our own view, but free will rules. Dark and Light have to co-exists. It’s always been that way and will always be that way. I think it’s some kind of rule of the universe. Thank you as always Simona. I really like your blog :)

  7. Thank you dear Simona this article.
    I believe that forcing others to behave in a particular way or accept some life styles is completely wrong. We can’t force them, they and only they can do so.
    But I believe that there must be a places/organizations/people… to support and help those who decided to wake up and make changes in their lives, and it’s very tricky too. Avoiding to impose a particular life style on them is the key. They must be free to choose whatever they want in their lives because no one can learn the other person’s lessons.

    • Yes, there should always be information available for those who are ready to change, but presented in a way that’s not suggesting it’s the only way. Thank you for your comment, Anna.

  8. SAURABH KUMAR says:

    I am not understating without reformation how the people/ society will change.
    If india have so many issues regarding poverty, child labour , women empowerment , development, education and so many so without raising the issue for improving ..india is going to be developed country..as other countries…like USA, UK……where so many revolution have been already takes place…..so it is not possible for make complete change …but up to maximum change it is essential…….

  9. Well It is Good That Indian People have Basic Sense of Security for the Womens ,which Westerners Lack due to which there is a Lot of Downfall of Good Culture and Tradition in the West .But still ,Over of anything is Wrong .The Problem of Indians are that they always think that Work of A Women is to only Do Household Jobs and Not to Get out of home because they think that it Will Corrupt there Mind .There is also a Thinking of Indian Mens that they are always superior as Compared To Women and this have Created a Problem for Indian Culture

  10. yeah agreed simona,thanks for replying

  11. does it mean that people who are fighting for people who are helpless in some manner are not doing good and they should not fight against such bad things coz sometimes some people really need help as they get stucked in their life’s circumstances,sometimes they are not aware enough to change their misery like children n ladies who are forced to prostitution,early marriages,rapes etc.I think the topic of female abuse by males is kind of a sensitive topic and you should go deep in this to better understand dis before analysing it on basis of a single person’s attitude towarrds this.Some Indian females lives in a family in which they see males abusing and beating their ladies and they just take it as normal they do not know what self esteem is,, such ladies needs to be taught and educated by someone that this it is not normal ,some understand but they do not know how to come out of this.

  12. Unlike the Western culture, Indian culture, society has designed the average Indian woman’s mind to be inferior. They’re designed and raised to be treated the way they’re treated without questioning their minds.

  13. Simply, “no one thinks like me” no one grew up like me, had parents like me, friends like me, relatives like me, etc.. Culture is the circumstance, life is the wheel and people are the cogs. We all bother ourselves with each other’s circumstance, personal culture, trying to impose our wheel of life on others. The doer of good is living his/her personal circumstance, it is neither good or bad, it is just their life. Just like this blog it is nothing more then each of us bothering ourself with our personal circumstance trying to impose our wheel of life on each other. The bottom line, Life is a Blast, live it, love it, share it and deserve it! We all need each other regardless of our personal circumstance to keep the wheel of life turning. It is ALL good, nothing is bad?

  14. Agreed, Simona.
    It is so true that we choose to be victims in far more circumstances than we care to admit.
    And it’s really a tricky one to convey properly too, as it seems even worse to ‘blame the victim’, to those still stuck in the duality. It naturally seems offensive to not just the ‘victim’, but every other observer still stuck in the ‘victim’ concept.
    Sadly it is very disempowering to said ‘victim’, as it severely limits our ability to respond and transcend the circumstance.

    • I agree with your comment, Daniel. I experienced on many occasions that people are not willing to admit that they willingly play such a role or they even get argumentative or very upset if this subject is brought up.

  15. YASH SHARMA says:

    Hi,
    Thanks for this article.
    its really good but its feel regretful to see people don’t understand this creation.
    mostly we blame someone for a bad action but in fact nobody is wrong.everyone is right in his place. we never try to see the reflective way that is duality of an action.
    regards